Dark Ones of Darkness - Paperback

by Bj Swannn (Author), Elizabeth Bedlam (Author)

In the early 1990s, four heretical nuns at a convent for wayward and insane brides of Christ were visited by a being that they believed to be the second coming of Jesus. But this being did not come in peace, bearing forgiveness and love. He came in hate, with smeared corpsepaint, black leather, a dirty guitar, and a screaming gospel of destruction and death. He was Black Metal Jesus, and he had come to make the world burn.

Fast-forward to 1998, and the four wayward sisters have formed Temperance Holocaust, the world's greatest - and only - extreme metal band made up of heretical nuns. Following years of obscurity in the darkest recesses of Europe, they've come to preach the gospels of the Black Metal Messiah in the United States as part of the Dark Ones of Darkness outdoor extreme heavy metal festival.

Starting off as the most obscure band in the lineup, Temperance Holocaust will soon become a global sensation of demented proportions. But their path to fame is lined with blood and

mayhem. To reach the masses with the Word of their corpse-painted saviour, they will have to tussle with Danish Satanists, escape the horny clutches of Nu Metal Meatheads, and face off against the greedy machinations of the infamous Ben Balrog.

And yet, the most heinous threats will come from within the band itself, in the form of the murderous rampages of Sister Whoreface, the drug-fuelled orgies of Sister Blood, the ecstatic self-flagellations of Sister HOG, and - most devastating of all - the narcissistic Nazi heresies of Sister Leper Licker, which will culminate in a spectacle of violence and chaos so extreme, so bloody, so strewn with severed body parts and flaming stage equipment, that the infamous Altamont Free Concert will look like a picnic in comparison.

Spinal Tap meets Lords of Chaos in a dark comedy love letter to all things heavy metal!