{"product_id":"dave-barrys-money-secrets-like-why-is-there-a-giant-eyeball-on-the-dollar-paperback","title":"Dave Barry's Money Secrets: Like: Why Is There a Giant Eyeball on the Dollar? - Paperback","description":"\u003cp\u003eby \u003cb\u003eDave Barry\u003c\/b\u003e (Author)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDid you ever wish that you really understood money? Well, Dave Barry wishes that he did, too. But that hasn't stopped him from writing this book. In it, Dave explores (as only he can) such topics as: \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e- How the U.S. economy works, including the often overlooked role of Adam Sandler\u003cbr\u003e- Why it is not a good idea to use squirrels for money\u003cbr\u003e- Strategies that will give you the confidence you need to try for a good job, even though you are--let's be honest--a no-talent loser\u003cbr\u003e- How corporate executives, simply by walking into their offices, immediately become much stupider\u003cbr\u003e- An absolutely foolproof system for making money in the stock market, requiring only a little effort (and access to time travel)\u003cbr\u003e- Surefire tips for buying and selling real estate, the key being: Never buy--or, for that matter, sell--real estate\u003cbr\u003e- How to minimize your federal taxes, safely and legally, by cheating\u003cbr\u003e- Why good colleges cost so much, and how to make sure your child does not get into one\u003cbr\u003e- How to reduce the cost of your medical care by basically not getting any\u003cbr\u003e- Estate planning, especially the financial benefits of an early death\u003cbr\u003e- And many, many pictures of Suze Orman \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eBut that's only the beginning  Dave has also included in this book all of the important points from a book written by Donald Trump, so you don't have to read it yourself. Plus he explains how to tip, how to negotiate for everything (including bridge tolls), how to argue with your spouse about money, and how much allowance to give your children (three dollars is plenty). He also presents, for the first time in print anywhere, the Car Dealership Code of Ethics (\"Ethic Seven: The customer is an idiot\"). Also, there are many gratuitous references to Angelina Jolie naked. You can't afford not to buy this book  Probably you need several copies. \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eWhat kind of financial shape are you in right now? This scientific quiz will show you. \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eBe honest in your answers: If you lie, you'll only be lying to yourself  The place to lie is on your federal tax return.\u003cbr\u003e \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eWhat is your annual income?\u003cbr\u003e1. More than $50,000.\u003cbr\u003e2. Less than $50,000.\u003cbr\u003e3. However much I get when I return these empties. \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eNot counting your mortgage, how much money do you currently owe?\u003cbr\u003e1. Less than $10,000.\u003cbr\u003e2. More than $10,000.\u003cbr\u003e3. Men are threatening to cut off my thumbs. \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eHow would you describe your portfolio?\u003cbr\u003e1. Conservative, mainly bonds and blue-chip equities.\u003cbr\u003e2. Aggressive, mainly options and speculative stocks.\u003cbr\u003e3. My what? \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eWhen analyzing an investment, what do you consider to be the most important factor?\u003cbr\u003e1. The amount of return.\u003cbr\u003e2. The degree of risk.\u003cbr\u003e3. The name of the jockey. \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eHow do you plan to finance your retirement?\u003cbr\u003e1. Savings.\u003cbr\u003e2. Social security.\u003cbr\u003e3. Sale of kidneys. \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003e--from the Introduction: \"Why You Need This Book\"\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eAlso available as a Crown eBook.\u003ch3\u003eAuthor Biography\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eDave Barry has been awarded the Pulitzer Prize for commentary. His columns for the \u003ci\u003eMiami Herald\u003c\/i\u003e were syndicated worldwide, and he is the author of a number of bestselling books, including the recently published \u003ci\u003ePeter and the Starcatchers\u003c\/i\u003e with Ridley Pearson. He lives in Miami, where he drives very nervously.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eNumber of Pages:\u003c\/strong\u003e 240\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/strong\u003e 0.51 x 8 x 5.26 IN\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePublication Date:\u003c\/strong\u003e December 26, 2006\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Books by splitShops","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51752590246176,"sku":"9780307351005","price":21.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0974\/9764\/5344\/files\/660050a5ceb87f7e996fae599b5e80e8.webp?v=1779999478","url":"https:\/\/ebocreations.com\/products\/dave-barrys-money-secrets-like-why-is-there-a-giant-eyeball-on-the-dollar-paperback","provider":"The E-Book Oasis LLC","version":"1.0","type":"link"}