{"product_id":"the-politicians-essential-excuse-book-remedies-for-when-what-you-meant-to-say-is-what-you-actually-said-paperback","title":"The Politician's Essential Excuse Book: Remedies for when what you meant to say is what you actually said. - Paperback","description":"\u003cp\u003eby \u003cb\u003eJoe Keefe\u003c\/b\u003e (Editor), \u003cb\u003eAndrew Murray Howe V.\u003c\/b\u003e (Author)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA compendium of 78 sure-fire excuses with humorously all-too-real applications for any candidate who is down in the polls, makes that unfortunate gaffe, needs to energize a lagging campaign, or has the temerity to actually lose an election. A must-have for politicians, pundits, campaign staffers, volunteers, and voters of every party. It is recommended to be applied any time the press will be within two miles of your candidate. The perfect political gift for the Politico in your life.\u003c\/p\u003e \u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e No. 3\u003cbr\u003e We don't pay attention to polls.\u003cbr\u003eAka\u003cbr\u003e  When those polls are killing us]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003ci\u003e Use this phrase in many circumstances including when your candidate drops twenty-six points in all polls after it is discovered he paid the woman next door to take a urine drug test for him - and the lab results came back that he is pregnant. \u003c\/i\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eNo. 11\u003cbr\u003eOpponent is pandering to the right.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003ci\u003eUse when your candidate's opponent ends a speech with \"God Bless America.\"\u003c\/i\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eNo. 12\u003cbr\u003eOpponent is pandering to the left.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003ci\u003eUse when your candidate's opponent starts a speech with \"My Fellow Americans.\"\u003c\/i\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e No. 65\u003cbr\u003e We make the tough decisions.\u003cbr\u003eAka\u003cbr\u003e  With our collective IQ, EVERY decision is a tough one] \u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003e Use to shake up the polls when your incumbent candidate approves a budget measure to repair potholes. \u003c\/i\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eNo. 77\u003cbr\u003eThe better candidate won.\u003cbr\u003eAKA\u003cbr\u003e Only if we won. If not, screw them]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003ci\u003eThe absolute worst excuse ever. Although it is rumored to have been around since the early days of political races in Athens, I cannot find an example of it actually having been used. Don't even think about using it until your candidate loses seven straight races to the same opponent.\u003c\/i\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eCOVER PHOTO: \u003c\/b\u003e Author pinching his cousin on her first birthday in Cincinnati, Ohio circa 1958. Photo taken by the author's dad with a 1919 Graflex press camera handed down from the author's great-grandfather. Yes, it is really the author and his cousin, and yes, they know their \"laughing and crying babies\" photograph is a viral internet meme  \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDISCLAIMER: \u003c\/b\u003e While these excuses are both humorous and accurate, they do NOT usually form the basis for legal defense when a candidate is arrested, indicted, prosecuted, and otherwise accused - although they certainly bear an uncanny resemblance to the pleas many politicians have employed in court: you have been warned.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eAuthor Biography\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eAndrew Howe grew up one small excuse north of Cincinnati in the small town of Wyoming, Ohio. He now resides in Florida, where he is a thriving real estate developer (cranewoods.com), project consultant and \"distressed project fixer.\" Andy is cursed with a smart#ss sense of humor (which comes in handy when discussing politics). His daughter's dog, Bambi, approved this message, but just barely. Visit The Essential Excuse Books on the web at www.ExcuseBooks.com or on Facebook at www.facebook.com\/ExcuseBooks (make sure to \"Like\" us on Facebook!).\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eNumber of Pages:\u003c\/strong\u003e 102\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/strong\u003e 0.21 x 8 x 5 IN\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePublication Date:\u003c\/strong\u003e December 31, 2012\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Books by splitShops","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51782358925600,"sku":"9780578116242","price":10.78,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0974\/9764\/5344\/files\/0c7d772992bf28dfc92c16679133975b.webp?v=1780568809","url":"https:\/\/ebocreations.com\/products\/the-politicians-essential-excuse-book-remedies-for-when-what-you-meant-to-say-is-what-you-actually-said-paperback","provider":"The E-Book Oasis LLC","version":"1.0","type":"link"}