{"product_id":"zeus-grants-stupid-wishes-a-no-bullshit-guide-to-world-mythology-paperback","title":"Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes: A No-Bullshit Guide to World Mythology - Paperback","description":"\u003cp\u003eby \u003cb\u003eCory O'Brien\u003c\/b\u003e (Author), \u003cb\u003eSarah E. Melville\u003c\/b\u003e (Illustrator)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eFrom the creator of Myths Retold comes a hilarious collection of Greek, Norse, Chinese and even Sumerian myths retold in their purest, bawdiest forms \u003c\/b\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eAll our lives, we've been fed watered-down, PC versions of the classic myths. In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified...wait, it all makes sense now. In \u003ci\u003eZeus Grants Stupid Wishes, \u003c\/i\u003e Cory O'Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD , sets the stories straight. These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words. \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ci\u003eDid you know?\u003c\/i\u003e \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eCronus liked to eat babies. \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eNarcissus probably should have just learned to masturbate. \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eOdin got construction discounts with bestiality. \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eIsis had bad taste in jewelry. \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eGanesh was the very definition of an unplanned pregnancy. \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eAnd Abraham was totally cool about stabbing his kid in the face. \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eStill skeptical? Here are a few more gems to consider: \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e- Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed. \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e- The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone. \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e- The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties...on the corpses of their enemies. \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e- The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace. \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eAnd there's more dysfunctional goodness where that came from.\u003ch3\u003eAuthor Biography\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eCory O'Brien \u003c\/b\u003eis a word-wizard and technojester of the first degree and the creator of Myths Retold! (BetterMyths.com), as well as the author of \u003ci\u003eZeus Grants Stupid Wishes\u003c\/i\u003e and \u003ci\u003eGeorge Washington is Cash Money\u003c\/i\u003e. He reads and writes mythology, science fiction, and computer code. He has camped with gypsies, juggled for food, and driven across the country in a car powered by vegetable oil. Now he lives in Chicago, where he recently graduated with an MFA in writing from the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. Cory's dream is to one day travel to Mars, or at least to own a jacket made entirely of pockets.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eNumber of Pages:\u003c\/strong\u003e 304\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/strong\u003e 0.7 x 7.9 x 4.4 IN\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eIllustrated:\u003c\/strong\u003e Yes\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePublication Date:\u003c\/strong\u003e March 05, 2013\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Books by splitShops","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51755757830432,"sku":"9780399160400","price":17.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0974\/9764\/5344\/files\/03bcf4f4a6932c75e94bcedbd519991a.webp?v=1780067901","url":"https:\/\/ebocreations.com\/products\/zeus-grants-stupid-wishes-a-no-bullshit-guide-to-world-mythology-paperback","provider":"The E-Book Oasis LLC","version":"1.0","type":"link"}